Cindy had given birth, raised, and taken this kid to all his ballgames and now he was a foreigner in her house treating her like she was part of the trash to take out and throw in the garbage. With no man in the house her teenage boy had become distant and disrespectful with no regard for the family or his little brothers and sister.
Cindy was at her wits end and didn't know what to do. My wife and I listened again as we had with so many moms in the same situation. We already knew the story well. The feelings of failure, hurt, and anger, but most of all - "How can he treat me like a doormat, he treats me like I'm his personal attendant."
We took hands with Cindy and did what we had done many times before. We all closed our eyes and asked Cindy to take all that emotion and bundle it in front of her - in her hands. All the hurt, the fear, the anger, the humiliation, etc... We told her to get it all in that bundle. Every feeling and seed of disgust at what her relationship with her son had become. We told her to let us know when every root of frustration was pulled up out of her soul and heart and in that bundle. Cindy began to cry. It took a while as she worked to get it all out. We encouraged her lightly to make sure nothing was left behind.
Then we asked her to see God standing before her and to lay it down at His feet. Lay it down, even if just for a moment to see what God would do with it. As she did, she began to cry harder. We knew, as had happened so many times before, that God had intervened in that bundle, and for the first time in a while Cindy remembered what she knew as a child - God loves her and He always did. That as a father, He would begin, with her permission, to intervene in her situation.
As a gentleman, He will never interfere where He is not wanted, but when released by our asking will move with vengence in the life of His children who call out to Him the same way I would move in my children's lives when I see them struggling, but saying, I can do it Dad. Finally, when they realize they are over their head, I swoop down and do what I want so badly to do - rescue them.
After a long cry and surrender of all the pain and blocks, Cindy is free, but not finished. Now there is a big space in her soul where before so many bad things and thoughts dwelt at their leisure and they would love to come back and have their way. Next, we ask Cindy to join us in thanking God for taking these horrible things and intervening in her life.
Thank you Lord. Thank you so much for taking the hurt, the anger, the pain. And now Lord, what if my relationship with my son could be normal. Cindy had a hard time receiving this thought. We asked her to just imagine - pretend and say, "What if it was normal." We closed our eyes again. Cindy began to wonder what it would be like. Those thoughts or seeds began to take root and Cindy began to cry again.
What if your son came home from school everyday and hugged you? What if he let you know that he appreciated the things you do for him? Everything starts with a thought and when you think/pray like this, it is very powerful because something happens in the air (spiritual realm) that begins to change everything. Highly emotional and passionate prayer from the heart changes things when surrendered to God.
What if, when you were sitting and watching television at night, your teen boy came and snuggled up to you? What if.... What if.... All of a sudden - Cindy changed. She became a different person. She was now a mother who believed that anything was possible and that her son some how - some time in the future - would change. She did not know how and she did not know when, but she knew in her heart that something was different. She now believed and had faith that her son could be different.
Then we asked Cindy to imagine her son being all that she imagined/prayed. Imagine that he was 10 times what she imagined - 10 times better. Now imagine that he was 100 times better. Now 1000 times better. We then asked her to give thanks to God and surrender her son to Him. To push him to God. Imagine your son in front of you facing God. Then take your hand and push him towards God and see what God does with him. Use both hands if you need to, but push him all the way into the hands of God. It is your right. It is your flesh and blood. So push and take authority over your child. Don't worry, if he refuses to go, the angels will help you, literally help you push him to God.
You have authority given to you to intervene in his spirit and bring him to the brink of God. I know this because my mother did it to me. God's conviction was so strong in my life when I was living for my self as a teen, that I would have to consciously deny Him as He pulled at my heart. I was very bitter and hurt. I knew God so well by the time I gave into Him, because I had had so many conversations with Him prior to my surrender, because He was responding to my mom's cries.
To this day, I can still feel the same tugging on my soul especially when I give into His nudgings. We asked Cindy to thank God for taking her son and working with him. She began to cry again as she saw God begin to deal with her son. Cindy saw God take her son by the shoulder with one hand and then reach into her sons chest with His other hand and take her sons heart out. It was hard and rotten.
God raised it to his mouth and dust came off the heart. God put the heart in His mouth between His teeth. As he cracked down on the heart it cracked open and the shell dropped down to the earth leaving a fleshy pounding healthy heart. As the shell dropped to the ground, God lifted His foot and smashed it to pieces and looked in Cindy's eyes as if to say, this is not from me, but I will crack your sons heart and break it so it can become soft again and alive.
Cindy, crying, began to see her son as a child of God that needed to have his hurt and anger healed just like hers. She began to see him as a child who had been hurt by the fights between herself and his father. She began to see a young man who wants to snuggle up with his mom, but can't because of all the anger and desperation to feel love.
I want to read you a poem my sixteen year old son wrote to me the other night when my wife and four kids and I sat and watched TV. I had fallen asleep and the next morning I found this paper my wife put on my desk. It had been made into a paper airplane and my son had thrown it at me as I slept on the couch. My son is a junior in a 5A High School and plays football, basketball, and golf. He works out everyday and stands six foot tall weighing 200 pounds. This is the poem.
"DaD"
Dad Dad laying on the couch
you look like you're tired
like kind of a slouch.
I would love to lay with you
but you don't want too.
Dad Dad laying on the couch
Dad Dad quiet as a mouse.
We all just want to be loved. Surrender everything to your Father. You can probably feel Him waiting now. I know I do while writing this. I am going to spend some time with Him now.
www.michaelpdunn.org
www.michaelpdunn.org
A Gem amongst Gems.
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